Chapter 1: Simpatico

Omi (Helga)- Michele - Lauren, Caroline.

*Simpatico- in lock step with one another. Same sensibilities, mutual understanding. 

Michele: “My mom raised us in such a way that you seek knowledge about art and life. The reason I wanted to come to the airport was because to me coming here means I am either going somewhere or I am coming home. And you know, the minute we come back- I got this from you mama- I am already thinking about the next trip, but I love that feeling of coming home.”

Michele: “Sky you gotta know that my mom and I did not do well for many years. And it was mainly, because she would make a comment for my betterment because she seeks excellence at all times. So there's pressure in that. But all I ever heard her say was I wasn't good enough. I’ve been through therapy, and all that came out of any of it was that most of this crap was my problem. That didn't really click for me until about… 5 years ago.”

Omi: “Really? You know it's interesting when you say that because I think that approach to parenting I got from my parents too, but I never took it as negative.”

Lauren: “Do you think it has anything to do with the difference in culture?”

Omi: “Well I know it was never meant as anything to criticize you.”

Michele: “Yes i know and you know that’s just how you were raised, too. Everything that my gandma did and you do has always been the best that could be offered. The german culture has such an obsession with perfection.”

Omi: “Oh no… I don’t see it as an obsession… I think there is a certain formality that has to do with deference with people. And I find it very pleasant to not be common or vulgar with people. The coarsening of America has been shocking to me when it comes to language and many things in the home. So I've never minded the particular formality of German culture. It seems natural to me, the respect of other people. You know that’s interesting to hear Lauren compare the way her and Caroline were raised because I had little to compare with growing up because I did not have siblings. And as you said Lauren- to please your parents… I’m not aware that I did a lot of things to please my parents, because when i was 16 I knew exactly what I wanted to do with my life. I wanted travel, I wanted to get out, to learn another language, and learn another language, and just… be out there! My poor parents! Their only child- I gave that little consideration. That’s selfish isnt it? I’m from little Germany- you drive an hour and a half and you're in a different country. The fact that we are so close to another country, you hoped on a train on the weekend and you were in Switzerland, or you drove next door to France. And that to me has been the most natural way to travel. When people think I am so well traveled, well it's in my blood and my culture. It's what they did, and still do. It's natural. My hometown was too darn small, I had to get out and see the world! I moved to London to go to school, and then I went back to Germany for no more than 6 months and I said, ‘Well I'm off to Paris.’ And now I live in LA, all the museums there… It's about exposure. Do you remember we went to the King Tut exhibit and we stood in line for hours? I had been to Egypt before and I just thought, ‘My god… this is so important for my kids to see. We’re talking about thousands of years of history here, they have to see it.’ I don't know though, maybe the kids feel that I push too much when it comes to museums and learning. I think it feels fantastic when you have that drive to learn, because if you haven't thought about something before, and you get that inkling to open your mind up… there’s so much more. Suddenly you find a direction that really intrigues you. And it's really all there for you to grab it isn’t it?”

Michele: “HA! Okay. So, my oldest, Lauren, is a fierce force of nature. Amazing. Meanwhile, my youngest daughter, Caroline, is doing cartwheels behind you. They are fabulous, deep, intelligent, inquisitive, bright, creative, temperamental, opinionated, spoiled, fabulous people. Oh yeah. As a matter of fact, they’re amazing. I just want them to live. It’s wrong to say that I don't have any expectations for them- actually, I do. I have very specific expectations and here's what they are- I expect them to learn how to live a full life within their own definition. Whatever that is. I mean literally I do not care at all what it is. I don't mean strive for happiness all the time, i just want them engaged, present, talking to people. Loving people, loving all the people. Having all the kids. Do you know what I mean? So yes. They are well on their way of becoming- and are- fierce, powerful, amazing women. Like, they're GOOD.”

Omi: “I think he was a FlimFlamMan.”

Michele: “HA! What's a FlimFlamMan?!”

Caroline: “Yeah what is it??”

Lauren: “A more current way to say it would basically be by just saying douchebag, right?”

Michele: “No he’s not a douche! Well i mean… I don't know, maybe he is a douche.. Anyway he broke my heart. How did we even get on this topic- Oh! You asked how I got here! So I was born in Marin County, San Francisco. Mom moved to the United States in 1961 with Tina. And then I was born in 1964, and then we moved to Los Angeles in 1974, I was 10. I moved to Louisiana 30 years ago. I was 21! The guy I was with was bald, 45 years old at the time… was he 20 year older than me or 10 years older than me? We’re dating in Los Angeles, and I didn’t finish college, wasn’t gonna be a famous actress, was just basically doing office work, and the traffic was driving me crazy. Life just didn’t feel right. And he said, ‘Well why don’t you just move to Louisiana with me and we can open up a restaurant?’ And of course there was no talk about marriage, so we just loaded up his big ole Mercedes with our two cats, Sampson and Delilah and we drove to Anacoco and rented a house with about 200 acres and I lived there for close to a year. I owned a couple of horses! And the story goes on and he left me alone in Anacoco because we started this restaurant and he fell in love with one of the girls, she was still in highschool. As a matter of fact, they had her highschool graduation party at our house! It was what you would call an instructive time in my life. So I’m no longer with the older guy I’ve moved to this place with, and I worked at an insurance company as a clerk at Geico in Leesville. And a guy came in and he owned one of the radio stations and he said I had a good voice. And I said, ‘Well I was a drama student in Boston. So I’ve had extensive voice training.’ Ha! And so he said, ‘Well do you wanna do the weekends at my local radio station?’ So I started spinning- they were 45’s!- we spun records! And I was country and western. HA! Y’all, I had to listen to Dwight Yoakom until I was going to DIE.  So then they heard me on the radio and I was so fantastic with my intros for Dwight Yoakom that this guy from Alexandria came to the radio station and said he wanted to meet me. And that’s when KZMZ hired me and I got to play AC/DC and I was Michele Night and the Night Train. So my show was on at midnight until 6 in the morning, it was an overnight shift. The guys loved it! I had these men in prison write me fan letters all the time. It was kind of low-key terrifying. But, I would start my shift and it would say, “Beeep beeeep! Michele Night on the Night Train! All Aboarrrrrrd! And then AC/DC would come on immediately after.”

Michele: “I remember we we snow skiing- we’re skiers, we love it. You know Doug and i got married and the day we eloped, he learned how to ski, and ever since then skiing is one of our things. I’ve been skiing for so long. I learned to walk and ski at the same time. I remember very very well, watching Lauren surpass me in skiing and thinking, ‘Oh my god. I’ve birthed someone who is more of a kickass than me. You know, that’s the thing. ‘Don’t be like me, be better than me. Think of it in a cerebral way. So you’re a mother, you give birth to these children. They grow up, they spud, and then they surpass you. We’re not at that cusp yet, we’re not there with them, but we anticipate that they will. And I’m not talking about the definition, I do not define who they become. I’m not thinking like, ‘Oh maybe they’ll have a big house, a big house like mine.’ Do you know what I mean? It’s not that that definition. I’m talking about how I knew when she was skiing, i looked at her and thought, ‘My god, she’s not scared at all.’ And skiing is an incredibly dangerous sport. And that’s all I’m saying is just that I knew when I was watching her ski that that’s how she lives her life. And I mean Caroline is creativity. I mean she just looks at something and she’s so artistic and fabulous. I think when i really knew who Caroline was… gosh i was really impacted- you’re going to be shocked Caroline- by your tile that you painted for the ceiling at ASH. The tile she painted had guts. It made a statement about race, and it’s on the ceiling of the school, and I just felt like that was a gutsy thing to do. I just remember thinking, ‘Whew, there’s a lot going on in Caroline. I just remember thinking that and then I knew, she was in control.”

Omi: “Michele is a dynamo. So she had to be something that was extraordinary. I had that feeling if she applied herself in the proper way. Which is most human beings, isn't it? If we have a particular talent, and actually apply it to our life instead of wasting it. Michele is so self-directed with her talent. Wouldn't you say?”

Michele: “I was supposed to be… I mean I am an abject failure. I was supposed to be a big deal, Mama. Like I was supposed to be a star.”

Omi: “But who's to say?”

Caroline: “You are a star mom!”

Michele: “Myself. I'm still supposed to be a star! Shaun Sanghani could still have me in a movie! My dream was always to be a big star. But that is no longer the dream, by the way, I am living my dream now.”

Lauren: “She’s fierce. Hardworking. Loving. Dramatic. But very accepting. She will accept any human. She would’ve adopted a million kids if she could have.”

Caroline: “She’s resilient. I feel like she understands the connectivity of the human race in a different way than any other mom that I've talked to. Literally yesterday we were just having a conversation and she was spinning her mind about how we are all here to help one another. She’s nurturing for sure, she’s a Leo.”

Lauren: “I think it’s just the way she handles adversity and conflict. Because a lot of deep dark shit happened in my family my freshman year of college, the way that she responds to that is just… she said ‘We are going to get through this together. We are a family. We’re going to do this together.’ Just the way she came through that. She cares about us so fucking much.”

Caroline: “She even had a plan to move to Colorado.”

Lauren: “Yeah, she just focused on the problem. She was like, ‘if I need to I'm just going to pack up my car and we’re just going to leave and go to colorado. That's how much she cares about us as her children.”

Michele: “I mean that’s.. Well I guess not all mothers, but your mother is the same way, Sky. And we know each other. The mothers that are alike- without words we know who we are.”

December 21, 2020